027. Rembrandt Doesn't Live Here Anymore - Written by Dave Humphries #3.3
Directed by Tom Clegg

TV Times Listing Rembrandt Doesn't Live Here Anymore Episode Locations

First Broadcast in the UK: 27th January 1982

Terry is minding a strip club and when Arthur pops around to see if Terry is getting on alright, he spots Frank Downing painting a mural. Frank tells Arthur he is into forging paintings, or rather paintings 'in the manner of' as he puts it. Frank believes the whole art world is a con and he can make easy money by duplicating paintings, albeit unsigned. When Frank shows Arthur the exorbitant prices that buyers are willing to pay at auction for such paintings, they spot Rory Quinn, a bookie from Fulham that Arthur has had dealings with in the past. While her boyfriend Kevin is away, Frank is staying with Monica Mason, an old flame of Frank's and fellow artist. Monica believes Frank is far better than forging paintings and tries to tell him to do his own work, though Frank is adamant the whole art industry is a rip off. Monica approaches Terry with her concerns as to what Frank is up to and Terry tells her he has nothing to do with Frank and Arthur's scheming and purely works 'with' Arthur as a minder.

With a forgery that Frank has completed, Arthur approaches local fine art dealer, Peter Sergeant for his opinion on the value of the painting. Arthur tells Sergeant that it is an heirloom and he inherited it due to a recent family bereavement. Although he doesn't make it clear to Arthur and despite still buying the fake from Arthur, Sergeant sees right through Arthur and sees an easy opportunity for himself to make money exporting Frank's fake paintings on a regular basis. In the meantime, still frustrated by Frank's attitude to fine art, Monica alters a fake painting Frank is working on that Frank has agreed that Arthur will sell again for him. Sergeant finally tracks Frank down, spoiling him with a drinking session at a pub where Terry has taken a stripper at the club for a drink. At this time, Frank agrees to sell the second forgery to Sergeant. At the same time, Arthur has also agreed to sell the painting to Rory Quinn. When Kevin returns early at Monica's art studio and catches Frank leaving, a fight starts and as Arthur and Terry arrive to collect the painting, Terry is required to step in and break it up. Arthur promptly escapes with the painting for Quinn and as he is leaving, Sergeant and his minder approach Arthur telling him that Frank agreed to sell the painting to him. Again, Terry is required to help Arthur out as Arthur has agreed to sell the painting to Rory Quinn that same evening. Arthur finally sells the painting to Quinn, although Quinn soon realises that it has been altered and that one of the characters in it has a watch on his wrist!


Cast: Glynn Edwards as Dave, George Sewell as Frank Downing, Patricia Quinn as Monica Mason, Ewan Hooper as Rory Quinn, Paul Gregory as Dealer, John Tordoff as Max, Steve Adler as Kevin, Candy Davis as Stripper, Roy Pannell as Male Dancer, Douglas McFerran as Quinn's Assistant, Monica Ramone as 2nd Stripper, Peter Brayham as 1st Heavy, Dave Holland as 2nd Heavy, Val Musetti as Gerry

Uncredited: Joe Bartlett as Man collecting money at Rory Quinn's Bookmakers

Facts: George Sewell has appeared in a number of TV roles over the years, most notably as Craven in the 70s police series 'Special Branch'. This episode features ex-page 3 model Candy Davis who plays a stripper at the New Rockinham Club. This club also featured in #1.1 Gunfight at the OK Laundrette. Steve Adler who plays Kevin, is probably better known as Murphy, semi-regular on the UK show 'The Professionals'. Much of this episode is filmed in the area of Soho around Peter Street and Wardour Street. This is the first episode to feature Arthur driving around in a Mercedes, later seen again in #3.5 Dreamhouse. In this episode we get another glimpse into Arthur's home, when Terry brings Frank's painting around and Arthur places it above his fireplace. Terry really does have his work cut out in this episode with three lots of fisticuffs. The actual name of the horse that won the 1821 St. Ledger was 'Jack Spigot' and John Fredrick Herring actually was an accomplished artist at this time and did paint the winning horse. The picture featured in this episode is of a similar likeness to that of the original and there is more information on the real painting here.


Double Take: Many actors in this episode also appeared in other episodes of Minder as different characters - John Tordoff who plays barman Max appears in #7.5 Fiddler On The Hoof, Paul Gregory, who plays the dealer from the Peter Sergeant Fine Art Gallery appears in #7.2 Days Of Fines and Closures. Douglas McFerrin who plays Quinn's assistant appears in #10.9 Bring Me The Head Of Arthur Daley.

Bloopers: At around 31 minutes, when Arthur meets Frank after the sale of the first forgery, they are walking together through a marketplace. A young boy is looking at Arthur and Frank as they walk past him and just a few seconds later he ensures he gets in the scene and walks past them again with a big smile on his face.

Title: 'Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore', an award winning American film from 1974 starring Ellen Burstyn and Alfred Lutter.


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Last updated : 27th January 2016 by jno

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